


Distance, timing. Breakdown, fighting – Silence.

by rainbowrabblerouser



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Break Up, Character Study, Leaving Home, M/M, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Sad Ending, Secret Relationship, Sneaking Around, really wrote this in the year of our lord 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23483944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowrabblerouser/pseuds/rainbowrabblerouser
Summary: Castiel makes a decision for Dean.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 8





	Distance, timing. Breakdown, fighting – Silence.

**Author's Note:**

> Sad Beautiful Tragic
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdUCW6mis7Y

The end of all things came about when Castiel realized something very plain and simple.

Dean was a fucking moron.

And he was too stubborn to admit anything ever.

Sam was no help because he knew his brother was a sad, lost, hopeless case.

And Cas, well, he was the guardian angel of an idiotic man-child who was so traumatized and scared that he would keep his guard up forever and ever...throughout his entire depressing life and for all time.

So why was Castiel stuck with this?

“Cas,” he called him.

It was a special name just for him.

He was the only Cas he loved. 

Dean used to have one before, but she was long gone.

And all he had left was Castiel…

Don’t get him wrong, Castiel would wait for Dean forever, but the problem with that was the fact that they had forever and they would be dancing in circles around one another until the end of time if he didn’t make a choice.

Just leave or stay.

Castiel had tried both and they were the exact same.

One was more heart-wrenching and it was the option where he was in Dean’s bed on long, sleepless nights where nightmares shrouded his vision and his permanent spot in Castiel’s arms were all he could handle.

But the sneaking around and the stolen moments and secret kisses were enough to make Castiel’s heart (if he really had one) burst and shatter into a thousand pieces.

Dean would break his heart and put it back together in a more vicious cycle than their friends-with-benefits “unspoken thing” that they refused to acknowledge.

“Kiss me,” he would feel the words whispered against his lips as he was pushed against the wall in some podunk town so rundown even the population sign was inching towards the edge of the townline.

Castiel would flip him over and he’d forever be the dominant one. Dean would be his bitch forever. It was a universal law that would never be broken.

Men like Dean, if there were any cut from the same cloth, would never admit that they were madly in love with the Castiels of the universe.

Castiels were gems and jewels and riches and men and women and anyone with a beating heart and a raging crush and yearning and love and melancholy and lust.

He would wait for Dean, but Dean would chase him forever too.

Dean was whipped for him. 

He was the wife and Castiel was the husband who would return home from work and get chewed out for being too messy and rough and mean, but then he’d be kissed and he’d ravish Dean until his moans would reverb in the bunker and Sam would blast his Tame Impala and Weezer records for hours on end.

Jack was their son and Sam was the sister who Dean would go to whenever their lovers' quarrels became too much for him. 

“Guys, this fighting is bad for the baby...I’m the baby!” 

The boy was a spitting image of what their kid would be.

  
  
  
  
  


When the time comes for Castiel to leave, he writes Dean a long handwritten note.

He had told him that it was what lovers did when it was time for them to end it all.

Jack was off somewhere with Sam so he was safe.

All he needed to do was take the train and he’d be off too.

There was no fixing this.

Soon he and Dean would be waking up in lonely beds in different cities.

He’d cry the whole way home, but Dean would surely understand.

Things don’t always work out when the person you love was too proud to admit.

Too coarse to be soft for him, just once.

Castiel had never begged him. Dean was the one who would have no shame.

But time was up.

They really could have been something.

So Castiel kisses him softly and heads out into the rain.

Something about the chill of the whipping wind and the diagonal rain always reminded him of his Dean, but he supposed he wouldn’t be his anymore.

“No, I’ll let you go. I’ll kiss one last time before I leave you, but you’ll have to wait.”

Dean had pushed him to the edge and he was satisfied.

Castiel always topped him in every single way, but he’d do the least exceptional exit.

He had left the note in his pocket and threw the locket with their picture onto the ground outside the bunker.

He would hate how Dean would make him cry, but not this time.

Tears were the worst part of being in a human vessel. 

They stung his face and stained his coat, in a much worse way than blood ever could.

His Dean would be somewhere else and he wouldn’t have to wait.

Castiel knew he’d be on him in an hour.

Dean was a chaser and would find him soon enough.

So Castiel leaves to clear his damn mind.

And he knows he’ll be found soon enough.

But he’s not sure he’ll return with him.

He’d need to construct a really convincing argument.

He loved him, but he was sure he’d never admit that he needed him.

A beautiful magic love there...

What a sad–

Beautiful tragic…

Leave or stay.

He’d leave and then figure the rest out later.

  
  
  


  
  


**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @rainbowrabblerouser
> 
> I'm waiting for this show to die already so I can watch them make a choice. 
> 
> It'll be bad.


End file.
